© Tom Weatherley

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Apologies for the recent run of terrible punning headlines.

Wednesday 30 September 2009

Lib Dems Criticise 'Backslapping' Motion

Liberal Democrat comments provoked angry responses at the Council meeting held in the Civic Centre on September 30. A motion put forward by the Conservative group commended the Conservative administration and Shepway Rail for Folkestone group for their parts in securing the new high-speed rail link, congratulated Southeastern Trains for the introduction of this link and called on Rail for Folkestone and the Chief Executive of the Council to impress upon Southeastern the continuing need for services to run from both Folkestone stations.

Lib Dem leader Lynne Beaumont said “These motions are backslapping. We had a stop at Westenhangar which isn’t mentioned now.” Lib Dem Councillor Matthews added “These motions should be for council business, not this.”

The comments provoked outbursts from Conservative councillors. Councillor Monk accused the Liberal Democrats of sour grapes, saying “The Liberal Democrats point the way but don’t do anything.” Councillor Love noted that the motion calls for an ongoing commitment from Rail for Folkestone and that he would support the motion.

The Liberal Democrats attempted to refer the motion to the Community Overview Committee but this was not passed. The Council then voted unanimously to pass the motion.

Sunday 27 September 2009

Commons touch

In this week’s Martello (the Herald’s gossip column) readers are informed that Prospective Parliamentary Candidate for the Conservative Party Damian Collins is looking to buy a house in the area, giving himself a permanent base. “I am sure that Mr. Collins is not pre-judging the election of this fine parish but…” crows the writer of the column, ‘Watchman.’

It can be reasonably assumed that Mr. Collins will win the seat, but perhaps Watchman's colleagues at the Herald are contributing to Mr. Collin's willingness to put thousands of pounds into local property before a single vote has been cast. Every time the Herald has allowed Mr. Collins to fill the already elected Mr. Howard’s column, it has retained the play-on-words title ‘Commons touch.’

Pip pip!

Friday 25 September 2009

Mystic Blog

Nuts! Oh well, they did go for the obvious one - concentric circles! Rather brilliantly Derren has just told us that classified ads in national papers have suggested to people concentric circles. However, given that the circle is such a fundamental shape, and so much if the show lead to circles, it is not really a surprise that 35% of the audience came up with circles of some description, and ohh look! Stonehenge is arranged in circles! So are lots of things! Like the M25 (although it would have been mean to let the girl out of her tardis in the fast lane).

Still, this is a marked improvement on the lottery 'prediction' offered 2 weeks ago - predictions should really be given before the event Derren! The explanation of not being legally allowed to give predictions of the results before they are announced is complete bull, as I find it hard to believe I would be arrested for walking down the street shouting my predictions at people (at least not for the 'prediction' part).

The let down of the 'prediction' was topped by the 'being stuck to you seat' episode. The constant reminders that 'this may well NOT affect you' looked like an excuse. I have yet to meet anyone who even seemed to be slightly affected. I could quite understand around 10% of people not being able to stand up having been bored rigid.

The real trick is getting people to forget what made his shows interesting in the first place the insights into human interaction, psychology and control. This has been replaced with doodles and spinning lines.

For the record I've had a few (around the aforementioned Martin's flat) which is why I'm wasting time blogging about this nonsense. Musht not blog when pisht!

Mystic Blog

Ultra - fast, before the pic is revealed, I predict that Derren Brown will reveal the picture to be two circles, side by side. Reasons

Initial draw instruction zoomed in on the girls eyes.
Repeated text messages about spirals and circles couple with references to 'carriages' and 'trains'. Draw a carriage or a trian without putting circles together!
The last story about the blind guy using sound clicks - this has nothing to do with remote viewing, but everything to do with his eyes.
~The who's who mentioned the 'big blue eyes'.
The constant concentric circles references are too obvious to influence people into drawing them.

Martin thinks it is a bow tie or a snowflake. Oh well, here we go, prediction time!

Tabloid Hell 2

The Kentish Express has ‘broken’ the news that national papers are reporting that a teacher has been suspended for appearing naked on a gay porn website (http://www.kentonline.co.uk/kentish_express/news/2009/september/25/teacher_suspended.aspx). Strangely the Herald have yet to put this up, although they have past form of ripping news from the nationals (see Howard posts below) so it can’t be long.

No names are mentioned, but a quick interweb search shows the Telegraph is carrying the story, and at least credits the Sun with the scoop. The Sun doesn’t appear to have a problem giving the teacher’s name, hometown and even a smattering of the pics in question (with modesty covering black boxes, probably not present on page 3) (http://www.kentonline.co.uk/kentish_express/news/2009/september/25/teacher_suspended.aspx). If you want the name follow the link.

The school have given a bland comment to the Express. There is a plea “Do you know any more? Give our newsroom a call on 01233 623232” at the end of the article, which is no great surprise as these ‘Give us a story’ messages have been appearing more frequently as the KM Group guts its editorial teams. One might wonder if the Sun hack made it down to speak to pupils and get the quotes for his article, and in doing so whether he broke parts of section 6 of the PCC Code of Conduct:

6. Children:

i) Young people should be free to complete their time at school without unnecessary intrusion.
iii) Pupils must not be approached or photographed at school without the permission of the school authorities.

The Sun headline screams “Gay Pics”, yet apparently the profile on the website gives the name as ‘Mike’ and the sexual orientation as ‘straight’. Later the article refers to “the site - which also features hardcore gay porn”. Does this mean in addition to softcore gay porn, or in addition to a straight porn section? If it is the latter, might the headline be more than a touch sensationalist? Regardless of the orientation of the teacher or the site, is it not possible that the guy is a just bit of an exhibitionist and a few snaps have been put up on his behalf?

The teacher has been sent home and suspended. While his position may now be untenable I am waiting for the calls for him to be sacked, which is a step too far. If someone can convince me what he has done is wrong, harmful or morally objectionable then I will change my mind. The sack would represent a meddling in private lives. Although posting pics on the internet is never the most private of things to do, it is not in school hours and is not connected with his work in the school in any way. This follows recent reports similarly questioning what teachers are allowed to do out of work hours, and whether teachers should be allowed to get drunk (http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2009/sep/02/teachers-slam-code-of-conduct).

Of course there must be limits, laws and the means to police and enforce these limits. In some criminal cases the loss of job and position is to be expected for some professions, teachers included. However, posting a few nude pics on the web hardly warrants the loss of a job and the wrecking of reputations siezed upon by the press. Social norms will usually make living bad enough.

Wednesday 23 September 2009

Tabloid Hell 1

Following my new tack of 'breaking news' (or sad excuse for 'shamelessly reporting any old crap that comes my way'), a female body has been found on Queen's Parade, sunny sands. Residents have reported coastguard, police and ambulance services at the scene.

Never realised it was so easy to be blase about someone's death. Sadly I can't get to the beach to take some long lens pics in true paparazzo style. Perhaps the local rags will oblige, with the KM publishing pics of a body being recovered in July, and the Herald in August publishing pics of the recue of a woman who failed in a suicide attempt.

All accusations that I am stooping to this level gratefully recieved.

Continuing the tabloid hell theme I went to a recording of Never Mind the Buzzcocks last night. As much as I want to, only the serious risk of legal action (or worse) is stopping me from repeating a hideously unbelievable story about a Celebrity Big Brother escapee, some pants and a holiday. When this story goes global remember you...err...heard it here first!

Friday 18 September 2009

Breaking (Bullshit) News!

Here is a breaking news exclusive. Jo Whiley got choked up as she signed off from her Radio show. Expect 'news' that millions heard a Radio 1 DJ crack up on air, etc. You heard it here first.

I may join Whiley in the cracking up stakes next week, as in addition to my job (which already makes me want to top myself on a regular basis) I will now have to try and concentrate through several hours of Fearne Cotton every day. Given that Cotton's ususal style and content makes Twitter look like Encyclopedia Brittanica this change in the schedules is as welcome as Ronald McDonald dishing out free hamburgers at a mosque in downtown Baghdad.

Why am I even blogging this crap?!?

Monday 14 September 2009

Damian Collins Loses Column

Conservative Prospective Parliamentary Candidate Damian Collins’ run of columns in the local papers came to an end last week as Mr. Howard resumed writing duties.

Generously Mr. Collins has used some of his spare time to…err…write another column for the Herald, this time about the first run of the new high speed train. Readers only have to turn to page 4 to get to the column complete with large picture of Mr. Collins with the train and local dignitaries. In a well written piece (http://www.damiancollins.com/record.jsp?type=news&ID=366 – it was NOT printed in the Kentish Express) Mr. Collins goes through the usual praise of the new service and asserts that “this could be one of the greatest economic benefits we have received since the opening of the Tunnel”, without going into detail what those benefits have been.

In addition to the high-speed service, South Eastern Trains has also agreed to maintain a slower service to Charing Cross (the high speed link goes to St. Pancreas). A large part of the latter development is due to lobbying from district politicians, local interest groups and Rail for Folkestone… but not Damian Collins.

Edit October 2 - credit where credit's due - one of the Rail 4 Folkestone group wrote to the Herald highlighting the role of Michael Howard in lobbying for the High Speed service. Genuinely something Mr. Howard can be proud of as he retires.

Wednesday 2 September 2009

Joined up Press

Good to see the Guardian flying the flag for all that is right and proper again. Today Hadley Freeman berates tabloids, the Daily Mail and even the Times for their ‘sweaty palmed’ coverage of the Jaycee Dugard story http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/sep/02/hadley-freeman-jayceee-lee-dugard.

It is clearly not for the Guardian to engage or connect with such rubbish, although just across the page from Freeman’s piece are the stories ‘Previous Garrido victim speaks out’ http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/sep/02/phillip-garrido-katie-hall-jaycee and ‘Bone found near home of Dugard kidnap suspect’ (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/sep/01/jaycee-dugard-bone-fragment). Both come complete with a description of Garrido’s first abduction. Curious readers are able to follow a link to the CNN story http://edition.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/08/31/garrido.victim.lkl/index.html, which opens with a summary of the story of a previous Garrido abduction and rape under the title ‘Story Highlights’.
A search of ‘Dugard’ on the Guardian website shows 21 entries in the last 7 days, including ‘Jaycee Dugard suspect fantasised about sex with young girls’ (September 1) ‘ A world of nightmare; Jaycee Dugard’s story’ (The Observer August 30) and a gallery of images from Garrido’s backyard.

Strangely none of which are mentioned by Freeman!